Change

For seventeen years, the horizon always looked the same to me. An unchanging, unfaltering line separating the sky from the sea. I remember the way the dew and salt laced screen stuck to my teenage face as I pressed against it squinting into the morning darkness. The way the sand entangled sheets swirled below my knees as I willed my eyes to see better. Patiently waiting for the faint light of the sunrise to be able to glimpse the incoming roll of the sets approaching the shoreline. My hands tense, clamped around my Nokia phone, readying for the precise moment that I could confirm to my friends that indeed the waves were good- glassy and empty. My damp bikini still hanging on the worn door handle from yesterday's session waiting to be donned again. Every movement I made was poised and purposefully quiet to not wake the rest of the house. But as always, I would be able to make out a stoic shadow already on the deck below. My dad, stirring his coffee ever so carefully. He too was staring and waiting for the same moment. The confirmation from the ocean waves to creep through the darkness to wax our boards. For the chance to be the first to leave footprints on the sand as we paddled into oncoming surf and towards our favorite horizon.

It is different now. I know that it hasn’t literally changed- at least not scientifically. I haven’t surfed in over 6 months. Yet, my childhood home still stands as some sort of monolith or gateway to my favorite memories. I stand on the road I grew up on and stare at it now, but I know deep down my sense of belonging and familiarity is no longer tied to that structure alone.  New neighbors (the old ones all moved or sold their homes), new more expansive houses with higher fences and stronger gates. The Cars-much fancier than my 82’ Volvo station wagon I proudly drove when I turned 16. The streets are lined with traffic from beach goers and surfers alike. People in a flurry to get somewhere, everywhere, and nowhere all at once. The ‘country’ as I had known it had decided to change as well.

I’ve traded in my salt lined screens for something equally as exciting. It is filled with the tree line of Haleiwa, where a tiny sliver of ocean peeks through, as if winking to remind me of where it all began. But most importantly, this new horizon is not a line that separates the sky and the sea. It is overflowing in all directions, into an expanse that knows no boundaries and no end. It has taken root in the family and friends that have been by my side as it continues to evolve. It is in those people that inspire and support me. It’s swirling in travels to distant lands that opened my eyes to the world. It has become intertwined in the new and old passions that are often ignited by change. It is in the space that I found my love for being a teacher- surrounded by laughter, learning and brilliant young minds. Driving me forever forward to do better and be better.